To say I've been hurt by my "Family" is an understatement. I don't claim to know God's will or intent,... but in my heart of hearts (Way deep down in the nucleus of my soul) I know (somehow I just Know) that God is NOT happy with these people. I know I'm a good person..I have a clear and clean conscience on that subject. Of course I've made my mistakes...who hasn't? But believe me, The Lord and I are square on that. I've repented for my past mistakes...and I've paid for my wrong doings. Who are these people to judge me? I mean really? I have 2 relatives who have "blocked me on Facebook," and it's laughable at best. I, No kidding, had to laugh when I found out....It's so high school...It's so....just like both of them. I'd bet it all that they are close friends with eachother as well. Yep...High School. Gotta say...Never wanted to be a part of that clique!! So that there's no misunderstanding....I DO LOVE both individuals... I don't like them...and I don't want to be around either one...But, I love them both. They are my family, and I would stand up for them, no matter how wrong they are. That's another big difference between the three of us. No matter how crappy they treated me and my child, I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy. If either of them found themselves pushing their child in a wheel chair into the Med room at St Judes's for high dose Chemo...you can bank on the fact that they would receive words of encouragement from me...their child would receive cards from me...and No...not because I've went through it with my own son...I would have given them the same treatment before my son got sick...I mean...wouldn't most people?
I had to let go of my anger, disappointment, and frankly...shock towards these people a while back. Before I go any further, the two afformentioned people are not the focus of my subject...they are definitely included...but they were not alone. I have a big family...and besides my sister and father, there were exactly (3) three "Blood relations" to call me and/or my son during his sickness. 2 of those people called me one time in the entire 2 1/2 years that we battled my son's Cancer. It's nothing short of pathetic!! These are not nice people. This is not a judgement on my part either...It's plain and simply Fact!!
Wow! She's right!! I do feel kind of good, maybe unburdened is a better word. Nothing about this makes me feel good. I am saddened that I feel this way about my "family."
I am living proof that DNA does not make a "Family." My children have More Grandma's and Grandpa's than most children, as well as Aunts and Uncles. These people may not carry the same DNA as we do, but they are NOTHING short of MY "Family!!" Devon had more than enough people rallying around him when he was sick. I just had an amazing thought...I can't even count (SERIOUSLY) how many people made the 11 hour (One way) drive to Memphis to see Devon. We used to get reprimanded by the staff at Target House for having so many visitors. These people...My friends...No, my Family, put smile after smile on my baby's face. I could live a thousand years...and I still wouldn't be able to thank these wonderful people enough!!
Will I always wonder why my Biological family didn't make an effort to let my baby know he was loved by them? Well, Yes, I don't think it's avoidable. It's natural to want to know that answer...but after all this time...I realize there isn't any answer they could give me that would excuse their behavior.
Before I go to bed each night...I say 2 prayers...One with my children, and then one between me and God alone. I feel closer to God now more than ever..and maybe it is because my baby Devon is up there with him...I don't know. I just know that I have to keep my faith and live a good life and teach my children to always hold the Lord's hand in their lives.... I am truly blessed in my life with Amazing people walking right beside me. I'd love to name each of you personally, but I don't have enough space left...so, To all my Friends (My real Family) I love you all...each and e very one of you..and know that I will always be right beside you...just as you all have for me and Devon!! God has truly, truly smiled upon me...and you!! For all of you who have never met Devon...here he is......
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