I LOVE LOVE LOVE my baby girl....but if I were to be really and brutally honest with myself....I would have to admit that she runs my life...not the other way around. I can't go pee without her tagging along. When I go out for my daily jog, whether it be with my niece or my friends, she throws her best tantrum possible. When she sees me putting on my joggiing outfit...she has actually went to the trouble of hiding my tennis shoes. Luckily, for me, I have a few pair of running shoes. By the time I get back to her...she has cried a river and has a completely red face and swollen lips. I feel so guilty. Everyone tells me that I deserve a break from her and that I need these running breaks...but I'm not so sure about that. I honestly feel like I'm traumatizing my girl. I've even resorted to taking her with me in the evenin in the worldg. She loves it when I take her running. I put her in her stroller and instead of running my usual 2.2 miles down 770... I opt for the 1.7 miles around the Amy North subdivision. I don't really enjoy that run as much since pushing her slows me down considerably.
What is a mother to do? I don't want her to think that there is anything in this world more important to me than her and her brothers. I also don't want to end up in the psych ward from a nervous breakdown...which is where any mother will end up if she doesn't spend time outside of her home without her children. For the Love of God....I take my daughter to Salon 23 when I have my hair done.. I've got to start taking better care of my social life. I've got some of the greatest friends anyone could ever hope to have! I don't mean just friends that remember my birthday...I mean friends that not only remember my birthday...but that throw me birthday parties...and remember my kids birthdays'...and remember the anniversary of my 9 yr.old sons death..and his birthday too. Since my son passed away.....Every year on his birthday my girls get together and come to my house bearing food and candy. They don't let me cook and they kind of take over my family and let me go to the cemetary to visit. I Love these girls...I went to high school with just one of these girls. The others I met through working....and one is the ex girlfriend of my brother in law. I can't even begin to express how blessed I feel to have these girls in my life. Thank you Lord for my Family and Friends...without them....I wouldn't know what to do!!
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